Love, Heart, tree, relationship

Are you Energetically Smothering Relationships before they have started?

In ALL, Heal Your Heart Series, Spirituality by Nicola McIntosh4 Comments

I’ve noticed a pattern happening lately that I can somewhat relate to on a smaller scale and I have been on both sides of the situation. I have witnessed this time and time again from both men and women and felt a blog post might shed some light on a situation that can leave you asking ‘Why?’….

So you managed to manifest THE perfect guy/girl into your life. The one you have imagined for so long who ticks all the boxes and you feel in your heart you are a match. You start dating and everything is as you imagined it would be and it fills your heart with so much happiness that you think about this person day and night.

Fast forward to a few weeks later or maybe even a month and bam! they pull out and leave you devastated. How could this be? You assumed all was going smoothly. There were no indications that anything was wrong or at least that is what you thought.

Sound familiar? Yeah, it completely sucks. You are left wondering what you did wrong, your doubts rush in and you begin to think that it must be you and that you are obviously not good enough….again.

It’s easy to put yourself in the victim role and that’s a natural reflex too. If we never questioned what it was we were doing to contribute to our situations, we would never learn the lesson, which is the reason it gets presented to us in the first place. However we have more information available to us in this day and age, so we must learn to look at situations from other angles if we are stuck with the constant ‘Why?’

We know that everything is energy, everything is vibration right? So too are our thoughts. Regardless of whether we voice them or not, these thoughts take up space and can have a negative affect. Instead of thinking that it is something about your physical appearance or something about your personality, think for a minute about whether or not you have energetically smothered your potential partner before they have even had a chance to get in the door.

We are powerful manifestors through our thoughts.  Our thoughts can carry a significant charge and whether they can physically feel it or consciously understand it, you might be bowling them over with all your expectations and dreams of what you envisage this relationship is going to become.

I guess in a way this energy has a sense of neediness attached to it, whether or not it is intended that way or not.  It’s hard not to get excited when you meet someone that you feel is amazing, especially when you have been ready for a relationship for a while and it finally presents itself.

Love is a powerful emotion.  If you wear your heart on your sleeve like I do, you tend to fall in love easily.  You allow yourself to be vulnerable.  You allow yourself to love unconditionally and because you don’t have walls to bring down, it can look like you move too fast.  There is no right or wrong way or length of time it should or shouldn’t take, but it is up to you to understand how your energy affects another when entering into a relationship.  You have to find equilibrium.  Unfortunately if you don’t sense the balance early enough you might break the relationship before it’s even started, but at the same time, if they do run a mile, they might just not be into you and however hard that is to accept, it happens.  You need to let go in order to allow other possibilities to enter your life.  That’s another Blog post in itself!!

So what’s the solution, how exactly do we stop ourselves energetically smothering someone?  Well it can be easier said than done. To let something go is to truly release it from expectation.  Your thoughts and actions must be in alignment.  You must catch yourself whenever you’re thinking excessively about someone or constantly dreaming future scenarios.  In other words, stop projecting into the future and focus on the now.  Take off the rose-coloured glasses and seriously get to know this person first.  You might even find that once you do get to know them, they aren’t actually what you were looking for, which again shows you had attached expectations to the relationship in the first place.

So enjoy those moments together with no expectations, no time frames of when everything should happen, don’t try and rush things or force things to happen.  Don’t over-analyse everything either, just breath and let it flow.

Remember you both need to be a vibrational match to come together in the first place.  Maybe it’s to learn a lesson, find a beautiful friendship or something more.  Whatever the reason, learn to recognise the part you play and hopefully you learn what you are meant to learn.

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Comments

  1. Good advice. Maybe women are more prone to this? I know I over analyse and dream scenarios all the time!

    1. Author

      Thanks Dee 🙂 Yes I have noticed women are more prone to this. I’m trying to get in the habit of not attaching a face or name to what I am trying to manifest. I know I want to have a beautiful long-lasting and loving relationship at some point, so I just have to imagine the feeling of being with that male energy and not a specific person. 🙂 x

  2. Wow, such an amazing post! I couldn’t agree more. I love your last paragraph, I truly believe this. However, I have only come to understand this now that I’ve had kids and I’m a bit older aka in my 30’s. I wish I had this understanding when I was younger, but I did my best at the time with what I knew. I now have the benefit of hind site and a great relationship with manifestation! Great work, it was a great read.

    1. Author

      Thank you Glamor Hippie! Yes it would be great to learn early on. I’m finding more and more people in their 40’s that have left their long-term partners and are now in the dating scene are finding this one hard. Dating is certainly different these days! Plus when you are older you know what you are looking for and sometimes it’s just too exciting when you find that match! Thanks for stopping in 🙂 x

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