Heart Wood

I Am Enough – A Lesson In Self-Esteem

Where it started.
My first blog post from 2013…

Many of us are going through life changes at the moment. It is one thing we can rely on that change is only a moment away. So I thought I would share one person’s words to me that started a cascade of events that taught me a huge lesson about myself that I feel is a very relevant lesson at this time.

I have made a few life-changing decisions over the weeks & whenever I feel a little out of sorts, I find somewhere in nature to go to find some peace. It just so happened that this day I would finally get to go to the Mount Tamborine markets, which I had wanted to check out for some time as I was thinking about having a market stall up there.

I parked, got out of my car & felt instantly drawn in one direction, so I followed that instinct & the very first stall I came across was a stall very similar to what I had in mind for my own. The lady who ran the stall was so vibrant & all her creations were just absolutely lovely & I commented to her that her items were beautiful. I instantly thought to myself, well there goes that idea, it’s already being done & she does it so well, I wouldn’t want to try & compete. We spoke about how I created similar items & how I was here to check out whether or not I wanted to do a stall there. The reaction from the lady could have gone one of two ways. She might have felt threatened & gone into a competitive mode. But what surprised me most was she was all for it! She said ‘Oh you should definitely do it!’ I was like, I don’t know how my stuff would go here though etc etc. I guess she could sense my belief in myself was not strong.

I walked away a bit flat. I then lost all motivation to look at all the other stalls. I did a full circle, returned to the stall to buy some beautiful feathers from her and was about to leave when she said this:

Just remember that ‘You are Enough’. You’ve been made to believe as you’ve grown up that you aren’t. You are and you can do this. People need more people like us. There are so many transitions going on and there can never be enough healers. Keep doing what you’re doing and believe in yourself.

I left thinking what a lovely person to have met. I knew it wasn’t time to leave the Mountain, so I just drove to see where it took me. I stumbled across the Botanical Gardens & went in to find a nice tree to sit under. As I was walking, I let my thoughts wander. Then I wondered to myself, why do I keep studying and studying and never do anything with what I’ve learned? Then I answered myself by saying well you still don’t know enough to go out there and use it. There is still so much to learn & who do you think you are thinking that you could possibly know enough to heal others? It is a huge area & there are so many things you could do wrong.

Then it hit me like a tonne of bricks. I have such an installed belief that I am not enough that I have spent my whole life striving for perfection in so many areas to prove that I am. I had to sit down. I was by myself sitting in the gardens & let a few tears escape. It was sad & beautiful at the same time. In that instant, I told myself it doesn’t matter where I got those beliefs from, it was time for me to believe that I am enough. Such peace washed over me because I realised this was something big. I was letting go of such an outdated piece of myself that I couldn’t believe had actually existed this long. I knew that I had to write about it because I wondered how many others had this belief that didn’t know it?

If you have this internal belief, surely it would manifest in everything around you as well? And yes it did! I am always saying ‘I don’t have enough money to go out or buy something’, ‘I don’t have enough fuel in my car to get to where I want to go’, I am not fit enough to exercise with friends because I am not well enough’, the list goes on.

Then something amazing happened. The day I decided that I was enough was when money started to trickle into my bank account. People started to like my Facebook Business page more & more, even my exercise capabilities started to get better. The effect is snowballing & gaining momentum & it is such an amazing feeling to know that it only took for me to believe in myself that I am enough, in this moment, in this life-time and I will always be enough no matter what I learn or don’t learn. So if there is one gift you can give a child, you can let them know that whatever they do, they are enough.

So don’t waste any time trying to unravel how you got to this place or blaming anyone for making you feel like this, just spend your time wisely in loving yourself from this day forward.

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